Day 15

It's been a bit of a tough night for me, hence why this post is going up late.

See, there is this fish that the kids and my husband have, he was born kind of deformed. His body was really short and his tail instead of being long line the others, was small and stood up straight like a fin.

He swam like a little torpedo in little circles and he was just adorable. They decided to name him Derp.

Anyway, this was the fish that everyone flocked to, and it was daddy and the kids special little pet.

Well....he died tonight.

My kids are heartbroken, but Nicholas especially is completely devastated, he is crying, he is hurt, he doesn't understand why this happened and no amount of comforting him is making it any easier.

I guess this is where I struggle, because at times like these I feel that I just never have the right words to make this better for him....I mean honestly no matter what I say, the pain is not just going to be washed away.

So I have to watch him, have to hold him in my arms and let him cry and vent and I just want to take this pain away from him. It's heartbreaking to see your child so upset.

I think the biggest issue for Nicholas is that it was something that was special to him and his sister and dad....and dad is gone right now and he's already struggling, so this just exacerbates it.

Tomorrow morning, we are going to bury the fish. I'm going to let the kids decide what to bury him in, where to bury him and do whatever they want to do, this is for them. But it still hurts this mama's heart. :(

:::: Watching the Portugal/Denmark game for the UEFA Cup. The kids and I love watching soccer together.